When Food Rules Stop Helping

It's the middle of the night and one poodle is asleep on the bed while the other is looking at me as if to ask why are we in the office instead of bed?

Because, dear Penny, I'm awake. And I mean Wide Awake at 2:23am.

And since there never seems to be enough hours in the day, let's leverage the early morning awakeness!

I talk a lot about food and food reactions and the different things that can change those reactions. But I'm not sure I've ever really shared why I talk about those things.

Believe it or not, both my poodles and being awake at now 2:26am are part of my why.

Why Food Sensitivities and Reactions?

I was the little kid with chronic ear infections, tubes in her ears and, thankfully, a really smart nurse mom who figured out I was allergic to milk. And to dust. She would vacuum my room (including walls) every day to reduce the dark circles under my eyes and snotty nose. I was allergic to the dog so she went to a new home.

We lived in the Midwest and mom would say she knew when the farmers started plowing in the fall because my allergies would suddenly get worse.

She paid attention to patterns.

I had a histamine problem fueled by allergies and genetics. My mom figured out the allergies part, even when testing was essentially negative. She's also the reason I know genetics are part of my allergy story. (More on that another day.)

But the biggest thing I recall once I was in school is that I had to be selective in what I ate or, regardless of whether the sinus kinds of symptoms or the inevitable gut symptoms kicked in…something most definitely kicked in and I felt horrible.

I would miss a couple weeks of school at a time because of vertigo and vomiting. Fun alliteration but miserable experience.

The Beginning of Food Rules…

Being selective in what I ate is also known as making the best decision for me. I started to learn over time what made me feel what way and I made my food choices based on that information. At least until I went to college.

Somewhere along that time I think we all start to question "The Rules". And that includes the food choices that inevitably turned into rules along the way.

Because they do that, right? Eat this. Don't eat that. Never eat this with that.

So I ate all the things, including the late night pizza with extra cheese. And there were repercussions. My body complained in the way it does - a demanding and urgent gut, sinus infections, no stress tolerance at all, and sleep worse than tonite's.

Because being awake in the middle of the night, dear Penny the hypo-allergenic dog, can be triggered by too much histamine.

The Problem with Rules

Fast forward a bit, because you don't need the extended version replay. Like mom, I started looking for patterns. If I ate this, then that happened. If I changed this thing (like taking an antihistamine for my itchy eyes), I could cheat on the food rules a bit.

That's not cheating, though. That's empowerment to make decisions and better manage how I feel. Making the best decisions for me, remember?

And I believe you can do the same thing. You're likely more aware of your patterns than you may know. Start by looking at your food rules. Do this, don't do that. There's a reason you follow those "rules".

We tend to use rules of any kind as a measure of how good we are. If we follow the rules - we're golden. If we cheat - we're being bad.

I don't know about you but there are plenty of other things that trigger negative thoughts without letting what I had for lunch after a really stressful morning do the same.

I think the dictionary is wrong

This is where Webster and I disagree. The dictionary defines self-wise as being wise in one's own estimation. I've actually started using it to describe when we make decisions based on our experiences which put our well-being before anything else.

They're wise decisions…and they're about ourselves. Hence self-wise decisions!

Ultimately, this is what I do every day now - make the best decision for me. And that's what I want for you. Does that mean every decision is easy-peasy and wrapped in a happy little pink polka-dotted bow? I wish.

Food decisions change day by day. One day a little bit of dairy is OK. The next, a glass of water is enough to set my gut off. Why? I don't know…are the farmers plowing?

We do the best we can with what we know, and no one else has to understand, agree or approve our next choice.

Your back-up to seeing your own patterns…

Really…that's what GeneKind is all about. Because that's my little soapbox. We each know more about our own body, reactions and experience than anyone else in the world. Why do we discount what we know?

Instead, lean into it all. There are answers in what you already know. It's just a matter of knowing how to use your own wisdom to make your own self-wise decisions.

I believe that's where GeneKind and programs like Food Sensitivity Code come in. No more rules, diets, or protocols to follow. Just another set of eyes peeking at your experience to help you see the patterns.

Because it's always easier to see the patterns in someone else's story than your own.

60-Second Self-Care

Turn One Rule Into a Question

Think of one food or health rule you carry around.

Maybe something like these:

I can’t eat that.

I should never eat after dinner.

I have to take this every day.

I need to avoid leftovers.

For one minute, set the rule aside and ask:

What do I actually know about how this affects me?

Then write down one answer.

Maybe: I usually tolerate this better earlier in the day.

Or: I reacted once, but I’ve eaten it several other times without a problem.

Or: This rule helped for a while, but I’m not sure it's helping anymore.

That’s it.

You don't have to change the rule today.

You don't even have to decide whether the rule is right or wrong.

You are simply giving yourself room to understand what you know before letting the rule make the decision for you.

That's self-care too.

So…I'm curious. What is the biggest challenge for you right now with food, food reactions or food choices? Any insights from that 60-second Self-care practice up there? Penny and I would be happy to look for patterns with you at 3:44am! Shoot us an email at [email protected] and we'll…OK, I'll read it and reply!